One of the really horrible things about keeping a blog is that you have a digital record of all the pointless, grandiose statements you make, but never achieve. An archive of empty words. Fortunately, I can look at the data relating to page views of all of these pointless, grandiose statements and see how many of you have actually read them. Yet more fortunate is the fact that no one has looked at last years New Year’s resolutions for months. Sadly, I suddenly feel the need to think of some new things to say I am going to do, but never will. How the hell can I self-deprecate if I don’t set a value at which to sell myself below?
So, just to review- here are 2011’s disposable resolutions (italicized are my excuses for not completing them!!!):
1. Find a set time to write, and write more!
I actually did write more than ever. I maybe didn’t stick to a rigid set time to write in, but in terms of pages per year, it was up there as one my top writing years.
2. Lose weight.
I thought about it. Lots. I tried the ‘thinking myself slim’ technique. It doesn’t work folks. It just makes you hungry.
3. Find a set time to rehearse the comedy more, and try and get a full length show together and perform it by the summer (I’d love to do Edinburgh again….I may have left it too late though for this year)
I did leave it too late. Sadly the comedy has taken a back burner to all of my other projects.
4. Lose weight (This is here twice because I have got podgy,I am struggling to see my laptop over the mountain of flab I have accumulated in the last few months of excess and neglect!)
I have overcome this problem by buying a much larger laptop- now my belly seems smaller! I think that makes that a result of sorts.
5. Read more!
I have forgotten how much I read last year
I have a few more days hanging out in Chrimbo-Limbo, eating chocolate for breakfast washed down with sherry and bitter; watching films I would never normally choose to watch, wondering how many soap characters can die in one week, and wondering if there is a cure for this constant stomach ache which doesn’t involve eating less junk. After my new years hangover subsides, I can then review my life through the haze and decide which things I want to think about not changing in the next year. I am sure that at some point, in the boredom of the dull early days of January, I will post them here, for the twelve of you to read.
Although, if I have any sense, I will be using that time to hammer home the treatment to my major project!