Today’s challenge comes from my wife, Chrissie, and it’s a bit different to the other prompts I’ve had…She’s asked me to write her an apology (for drunkenly keeping her awake until 6am on Sunday morning- when she needed to be up at 7:30am).
If you’d like to add to my writing to-do list, I’m doing another 21 days worth of challenges. Head over to this post and see what it’s all about. Drop me a comment with a suggestion and I will do whatever you ask!
There’s not enough room on this internet to list all of the actions that I regret. There’s not enough words in the English language to express to you my remorse. I’ve worn out ‘sorry’. And I’ve broken ‘I’ll try harder’. The meaning of any synonyms of ‘apology’ are context-less sounds that hold no weight. And rightly so because I’m a dick. But I’m your sorry dick.
I have no right to object to my abject state.I’m not content to just be contrite. I’m rueful that I was so awful. Repentant that I was repellent. And compunctious that I was so tactless. I am a thesaurus of self-reproachful monologues full of conscience-stricken adjectives. And if my expressions have lost so much definition that they appear empty, it’s because I’m a dick. But I’m your sorry dick.
(I just read this out loud to her before posting it, she says it sounds pretentious. I guess that makes me a pretentious sorry dick now)